Amira Jamal's Student Recital 2011

I can't believe I didn't write about this already!  It's been quite a busy summer, indeed.

On May 7, 2011, Amira Jamal held her annual Student Recital at the Performing Arts Center of Metrowest.  Though her student recitals used to take up several hours, there were less performances this year so the entire recital was only about an hour.

From her advanced class in Boston, there were only 2 of us who were available to perform.  Amira has so many amazing students, and it's always been a blessing to be counted in that group.

Now that I recognize and know so many of the other dancers from other workshops and events, it's been great to see so many of them break out into solo performances.  Like me, I'm sure that they view Amira's student recitals as a wonderful place to try new things, even if that new thing is performing something on their own.

At this year's recital, I decided on dancing to "El Layali" by Nawal al Zoghbi, a more poppy tune.  Here's the music video for it.  So 90's!




It's a pretty fun song, and I chose to use the veil throughout the performance, making it more of an American Cabaret performance.  I thoroughly enjoyed this years recital, and I felt a lot more relaxed than I usually do about performances.  I hope that means that I'm also improving and growing in my dance.

Silencing the Noise

As someone who doesn't necessarily considers herself as a "professional dancer," in that I'm not really in high demand to do anything, there's still a lot of negative thoughts that still float through my head once in a while.

I know that I've come far in the past several years, showing more confidence in my performances and just generally having more fun.  But I still get really nervous right before a performance.

It's kind of funny what kinds of negative thoughts will flit through our heads in times of nervousness.  I think about whether I'm doing the dance justice, if I'm wearing the right kind of costume, if the costume will do something unexpected, if the music does something unexpected, or if I'm entertaining enough for the audience.

I have learned to push those thoughts away just as I'm about to step on the stage, but I wish I could learn to push them away during practice.

A couple of weeks ago during Amira Jamal's class, she lead a conversation about being present.  While we should be aware of what our bodies are doing (are our arms and hands full of energy? are we tucked? are we smiling?), are we able to ascend being physically present to being mentally and emotionally present?

During the undulations portion of our warm-up drills, I somehow became extremely disconnected with myself.  My undulations weren't doing what they usually would be doing, and Amira noticed it as well.

I remember thinking, "What in the world? This doesn't feel right..."  But I just kept going instead of stopping or really trying to figure out what was wrong.

Amira asked, "So, you were aware of the fact that something was wrong.  What could you have done to fix it?"

Seriously, she asked me a question that is basically defining my life right now.

I told her I couldn't answer that question, as it's literally been something that's weighing on me.  The more I thought about it, the more emotional I could feel myself getting.

Being in this state of unemployment with no direction has really been difficult for me.  At my last full time job, I was able to thrive because I was able to put a lot of my own ideas, and thus a lot of myself, into the work.  Because I was able to get out most of my ideas or even just be able to talk about them and hash them out, I think I was able to let the rest of my creativity flow through my dancing.

Does that make sense?

So, because I've been basically stagnant in my professional life, it's starting to affect my dance and my health.  It's almost like once I realized that I was blocking myself from creative expression, my body reacted to it by stuffing my sinuses and giving me a sore throat.  And honestly, I'm so angry at myself for letting it get the best of me.

Meditation and Chakras

I think what I'd like to do in the next couple of weeks is to sit quietly or with some soft music playing.  I would like to learn how to meditate and really quiet my ever-moving mind.  I will try to make sure that if any ideas do surface, that I write them down or draw them out. 

Holding on to it all hasn't been productive, and I need to try something new.

What has stood in the way of your dancing?  Is there a zone or a frame of mind that helps you to be creative?  What techniques do you use for silencing your mind? 

Raks Nativity 2010

On December 4th, a groups of belly dancers and their friends descended upon the town of Chelmsford, MA, to present the first production of Raks Nativity, the Christmas Story told through Middle Eastern Dance.

I was very excited to be chosen to play the Virgin Mary, which is really quite an honor coming from a Catholic family.

Publicity
On the night of the dress rehearsal on December 3rd, I received a copy of the Chelmsford Independent with the article on Raks Nativity right on the front cover.

There's me!

I'll be honest.  It was quite daunting to see that picture of me.  I really wasn't sure if I would be able to do the character justice, as I'm not really much of an actress.  But, I just kept telling myself to breathe.  All my peers were extremely supportive, and really helped to build me up.

What's a show without obstacles?
A week before the show, we learned that Amira Jamal would not be able to play the role of Anne, Mary's mother.  Her and I had practiced our part together several times already, but she was having a lot of trouble with her legs and knees, and I wouldn't have wanted her to hurt herself any further.

Truth be told, I was really saddened by the news.  I consider Amira my "belly dance mom," so it felt right that she would play my mom in the show.

However, when I learned that Najmat would be the official understudy, I was extremely excited!  Considering that we had joked back and forth about how she should be playing the Virgin Mary, it was all too appropriate for her to play my mom.

Debut
When December 4th arrived, I could hardly believe it.  I joked during the tech rehearsal that it would be over in 2 minutes, and we'd be wondering how we got there.

As show time closed in, I started to feel extremely nervous.  All my doubts suddenly flashed through my mind.  Behind the wings, I became intensely aware of my heartbeat.  Najmat assured me that I would do great, and I thought back to all the student recitals and performances I've been part of.  I even thought about how I had another dance gig I was hired for later that night.

I know this may sound silly, but the mere fact that I knew that acting (and serious, not being silly acting) was involved made it feel more important for me to do well.  I just didn't want to let anyone down.

Then the music started.  I took a deep breath, took one more look at my cast mates in the wings, and erased all those doubts from my mind.

As the first act came to a close, I felt myself breathe out as though I had been holding my breath the whole time.  It was great!  It felt great!  The audience seemed to enjoy themselves, and I hadn't fallen off the stage.

After some reapplication of makeup and readjusting of the costume, it was time to prepare for the second act.  I got to catch up with a couple of belly dance friends in the audience, but mainly tried to stay out of sight.

At some point, we were waiting in the wings during the second act, and I looked at the same people I was with during the tech rehearsal and said, "See! In like 2 minutes it's seriously over! How did we get here?!"

In preparing for the final scene, I sat in my chair and tried to channel a new mother's spirit.  I looked at the fake baby doll in my arms (though it was so real looking, it was kind of freaky!), and thought about what it must feel like to have just given birth and holding your new baby.  Then I thought how every mother must feel that their child is just as special as the newborn baby Jesus might have been.

On a side note, I know that I am definitely not prepared for motherhood, and this is why:  During rehearsal, I would constantly forget about the baby doll!  It was left on a table, or downstairs in the dressing room, or somewhere else.  But man, I am not prepared for babies!

The curtains opened and the final scene began.  This was perhaps one of the easiest parts for me, since I literally just had to sit there and look extremely happy.  But, in all honesty, I was extremely happy. 

The person playing Joseph (who I had only met the night before) and I were second to last to take our bows, and the drummers, Johara's Snake Dance Company, followed after us.

We did it!  We pulled off an amazing show, and each one of us were eager to talk to our friends in the audience to hear their feedback.

Reflections
Looking back at the event, I am still feeling this wonderful glow about me.  It's strange, really, playing such an important religious character but not being at all religious.  I can't help but feel a bit more spiritual and even more into the Christmas spirit after the show.

It was so lovely to see so many friends in the audience.  I remember at one point, noticing the light reflect off my boyfriend's glasses in the audience as I danced.  I get a bit nervous knowing he's there, mainly because his opinion is really important to me.  And at the same time, it's extremely comforting to know he's there because his opinion is really important to me.

They all said that I did a great job and how I was really expressive.  I had been much more concerned about looking pregnant, more than anything else, so I'm glad that I was able to accomplish both.

I now know that I do have the capacity to act as well as dance, and maybe even both at the same time.

As the pictures were published on Facebook, I felt like I was reliving the show all over again.  I honestly could have done it again, even 2 nights in a row.  Considering that it was about an hour of action and that it was a full house, we probably could have packed in another show.

All in all, I am so proud to have been part of this production.  I am proud of Nepenthe for being so creative with this vision, and I thank her for allowing me to be a small part of it.  Whatever she ends up doing next year, and if she does this again, I am so down!

For pictures, please check on my Photo and Video blog: Cecilia of the Sea

Video: Amira Jamal's Student Recital

It took a while for me to finally get my things together and grab my copy of this DVD.  It then inspired me to dig up my past recital DVD's just to see how much has changed in the past several years.

My goodness.  I don't know if I could really show you those videos of me.  Perhaps if you would like a personal viewing, then...maybe...

But I'm really quite proud of this year's performance.

Thank you so much to Nadira Jamal (www.taktaba.com) for the videography!!

Amira Jamal's Student Recital 2010

On Sunday, May 2nd, Amira Jamal hosted her annual Student Recital at the Pacific Arts Center of Metro West, in Framingham, MA.

I love her student recitals for many reasons, including the opportunity to see my amazing classmates dance and to see some of the newcomers perform.  This might sound horrible, but (and I mean it in a really positive way)it's nice to watch the newbies because it reminds me of where I came from.  A closet full of belly dance clothes later, I can proudly say that I'm no longer a newbie.

Mainly, I love the student recitals because it's been great practice for me.  I've always been exceedingly nervous about performing in public, especially around other, more professional dancers.  But this year, I felt different.

In a way, the recital snuck up on me.  I had been extremely busy, and with a new kitty, it has been difficult to do much dancing around the apartment.  Next thing I know, it's April and the recital is a month away.

When I'm working on choreographing a piece, I usually just play the song over and over on my mp3 player.  Strangely, I find it really productive to choreograph while riding the T.  This time around, I really tried to focus more on where the music was taking my movements and build upon that, instead of trying to incorporate every little step that I knew into a dance.

But the real difference was that this year, I danced to an actual Arabic piece.

In the 5 years that I've been taking classes with Amira Jamal, I've danced to Tori Amos' "Sweet the Sting," Queen's "Crazy Little Thing Called Love," Bjork's "Bachelorette," The Beatles' "Something," and Pink Martini's "Never on Sunday."

I've always loved the idea of fusing different concepts together to create something beautiful, which is mainly why I've focused on dancing to different types of music than traditional Middle Eastern music.

The great thing about Amira's classes, however, is the fact that we're exposed to so much Middle Eastern music, from classical Arabic to more pop tunes.  She encourages us to keep broadening our understanding of the dance by understanding the music.

So, this year, I danced to "Balady ala Accordion" by Hassan Abou el Seoud (This song can be found on Shik Shak Shok and 10 Songs Every Bellydancer Should Know).

Oh, ya.  Another difference was that my costume wasn't completely green.  It was mainly purple, and only had the tiniest hint of green.

Most of the pictures were taken by my boyfriend, so they're a little blurry.
This was my entrance.

Shocker!  I know!

Oh ya, baby...those are zills!

I couldn't really tell you why I finally decided to dance to an Arabic song for the recital.  I have talked in a previous post about doing a Filipino/Middle Eastern fusion dance, but I haven't learned enough about traditional Filipino dance to put something together in time for the recital.

I had already danced to "Balady ala Accordion" at an event I organized, and I really love the song itself.  Also, in the past, I had been dancing to somewhat slower songs.  I figured it was time to up the tempo, and go for playing my zills.

Confident and smiling!

Overall, though I know I needed to improve my zill playing, I actually felt extremely confident about my dance.  Since we got the chance to perform for each other in class earlier that week, I had received really great feedback from my classmates - dancers I really respect.

I am really proud of myself for a 6th recital under my belt, and for feeling not as nervous as I stepped out onto the stage area.  It was also quite nice to get complements from some of the audience members, of whom were mainly family members of the performers.

It was also great to have my boyfriend there supporting me.  Though he isn't so good at taking pictures, it's always nice to be reminded that I have someone in my personal life that enjoys and supports this hobby.

Nadira Jamal Improvisation Workshops

The really awesome thing about the belly dance community is how connected it is.  I have the pleasure of meeting so many wonderful dancers and teachers, and learning tons from them!

As I've been taking classes with Amira Jamal since I moved to Boston, I've been able to learn from many dancers who I consider masters.  Recently, one of Amira's students who's moved on to teaching her own classes and producing instructional DVD's, came back to class to share some of her knowledge.

Nadira Jamal gave two workshops during our scheduled classes on Monday, one on March 22nd and the second on April 5th.  She, with her wicked smaht engineering brain, has taken the frightening idea of improvisation and breaks it down into workable bits.

Her video series, Improvisation Tooklit, is a great guide for anyone who feels nervous about getting on the dance floor without a set and choreographed routine.  Though there currently two DVD's, she's working on completing the set of 5 to make master improvisers in all of us dancers.

The workshops she brought to us were a shortened version of the two DVD's.  I must admit that I was a bit nervous!  Though we've done quite a bit of improvisation in Amira Jama's classes (just putting on music and moving on the dance floor), I was worried that I might not be able to hold on to what she taught us.

But she started right away with building up our confidence and dance self-esteem.  She reminded us that we should not only have fun and enjoy the dance, but that we also have the ability to remember specific moves if we are having fun.  And, even if we can only remember 3 or 4 moves, there are so many bits one can add to the dance (like level changes, moving around the floor, angles, arm movements, timing, etc.), that even the same movements can have a different effect.

I was excited to be part of these workshops.  Though I'm not a professional like many of my classmates or like Nadira, I can at least fake it til I make it.

I now feel much more comfortable with improvisation, though I'm sure I'll always be a little bit nervous about performing.  Also, I feel like this comfortability with improvisation would greatly aid in choreographing, as one can take the moves from improvising and reuse them.

Dancing to Live (Music)

When I first moved to Boston 5 years ago, I knew that I wanted to continue taking belly dance lessons.  Since I considered belly dance a hobby, I didn''t realize that I would feel as passionate about the art as I do now.  While I don't consider myself a professional yet, I think it's something I'm considering more and more with every new experience.

I've had the pleasure to interact and learn from fabulous dancers, and I look forward to continuing my dance and music education. Through the different teachers, I've been exposed to opportunities that I've never thought I would be a part of.

Well...let me backtrack for a second.

I've done some performing for most of my life - from piano recitals to orchestra and band concerts in high school.  Perhaps because of my being trained classically, I've always been freaked out by improvisation.  Even in jazz band, I was so unsure of my abilities that I didn't think that I could possibly pull off something as musically awesome as some of the old songs I love.

When I was in undergrad, I participated (performed and directed pieces) in the Queer Fashion Show.  I loved that whole experience!  Working with large groups of people and putting together an entertaining peice...oh, then the performance!  I loved it.  But I never performed on my own.  I felt that the people who I performed with were like my backbone, giving me strength to go on through my anxiety.

When I began to belly dance, I anticipated a lot more troupe performances.  When recitals would come around, I would get extremely nervous.  I had to psych myself up, just saying to myself that I've done this before, there's nothing to worry about.  

Four recitals later (in 2008), I gathered enough courage to perform at a casual talent show in Vermont.  It was the first time I had sought out dancing alone for a group.  I was so nervous!  I couldn't even tell you about the massive amounts of butterflies in my stomach and the bullets I was sweating afterwards.  But throughout the weekend, I received so many complements.  People I didn't even know were watching came up to me in the days following my performance, complementing me and asking me about my dance background.  It was an exciting feeling.

(Celebration of Expression, Photo taken by Cat O.)

Later that year, my fellow social workers and friends organized an event that created a safe space for women to express themselves.  One friend read erotic poetry, another friend shared her baking wisdom, and I danced.  It was my first time performing a full routine (though broken into sections) for a live audience.
 
2008 seemed to be the year I finally had enough "belly dance balls."  Prior to the last two shows I wrote about, I was given the chance to dance with the Jewels of Jamal at the Athenian Corner in Lowell, MA.  This time was different.  This time, I danced to live music.  Amira Jamal had been preparing us for this experience through all her classes, encouraging us to dance to songs we weren't familiar with.


 (Athenian Corner, Photo by Albert Ma)


All of her lessons were flooding into my head at that moment.  Don't forget to smile, make sure your hands are "alive," move around the floor.  I'm surprised I didn't fall over from all the thoughts in my head.  In the end, I survived.  I knew that dancing to live music was another goal to add to my list of accomplishments.




On October 1st, a Boston Bellydance Meet Up occurred.  One of my dance teachers and friend Najmat leads the Meet Ups, and I was eager to meet more dancers in the community.  This was the first Meet Up event in almost a year, and it was held in the Basha Cafe in Cambridge. 

Mitchell Kaltsounas and Aboud Ghazi were playing that night.  I don't know much about the musicians in the area, but if my classmates and teachers like their music I figure there's something for me to learn.  Mitchell and Aboud were awesome!  The music was fabulous, and I was surprised to recognize as many of the songs that I did.  I'd have to credit Amira Jamal for making sure that we exposed ourselves to the classical Arabic tunes.

As a Meet Up event, I had a blast.  It's unfortunate that not a lot of people, including much of whom RSVPed, attended.  But it was great to be there with dancers old and new.  We were all wondering if there would be a featured dancer, but realized that we were the only dancers there.

Now, generally speaking, others danced.  It was almost similar to being at a club, but with live music.  Someone was celebrating their 30th birthday, so there was much dancing and celebrating to be had.  But the Middle Eastern dancers were the first ones to get up there.  At first, I stayed behind the other dancers.  I danced to the music, and sang along when I knew the words.  While I started using my fellow dancers as a crutch, I grew more and more comfortable with myself.

It was a liberating experience.  I'm still a student, no doubt.  There were rhythms and movements I was still unfamiliar with, and I know I still need to grow in my stage presence.  But dancing to live music adds to this other dimension of interaction between movement and sound.  It gives me more items to add to my checklist of becoming a more professional and educated and comfortable in my own abilities.