This Goddess Gets Virginal

In the past couple of months, I've had the pleasure of working with many of my belly dance classmates towards a fabulous show called Raks Nativity.

Raks Nativity, conceptualized by Nepenthe, is basically the Nativity Story told to Middle Eastern music.  From the Facebook page, it's "a new take on the Christmas Pageant. While the plot remains the same, this pageant depicts each scene with dances from the Middle East and fusion “bellydance”, including Saidi, Baladi, and Wings of Isis."

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I am blessed and honored to be playing the Virgin Mary.

Back in September, I attended the auditions thinking that I would try out for one of the more minor roles.  But then I was told to act/dance through Mary's introduction scene, and they said that they imagine her to be kind of like a Disney Princess.  Pppsshhhhaaawww!  Well, snap.  I can do Disney Princess.

So, here I am, preparing to play the Virgin Mary.  Believe me, the irony is not lost on anyone in the cast.  But, luckily, we all have a healthy sense of humor and know that we need to keep some things discreet.

But it just gets better.

Back in October, I was doing a party.  I pulled out my vagina puppet, which I use for the anatomy portion of my demo.  One of the guests suddenly exclaimed, "Is that the baby Jesus?!?"

I cracked up!  Before explaining why I almost died laughing, I said, "You have no idea how funny that is to me!"

I told some of the organizers and staff, and promised that I would bring the puppet to one of the practices.

Unfortunate (or fortunately), I happened to bring it when there were official photos being taken.

Photo by Dreamer's Realm Photography
Can you guess what was sitting in as the Baby Jesus?

I'm honestly really excited about being part of this show.  It's just going to be a lot of fun, and really a great way to bring different people of different denominations, beliefs, and experiences together.

Then I learned that the Chelmsford Independent, their local newspaper, printed an article about the event using the promotional image.  Except, they cropped the middle image.  Here's the screen shot of the website.

holy...moly...

Okay, so this is where I'm starting to freak out a bit.  Truth be told, I knew what a responsibility it is to play the Virgin Mary.  I did grow up with a Catholic family.

But it wasn't until I saw that website that I realized what a responsibility it is to play the Virgin Mary.  Sure, the Nativity Story is mainly about Jesus' birth.  But, really, that's just the climax (that's right, I went there).

The story is really about Mary's experience.  From the Annunciation to the Presentation, Mary is the actual driver of the story.

I know that I'll do the story and Mary proud, but I'd have to say that I'm a lot more nervous after seeing the press this event has received.  There's a part of me that knows about all the other better dancers out there, all the other better actors out there.  There's the little voice of doubt that has suddenly appeared.

But, for this first Raks Nativity production, I know that this is my Mary.  And I'm going to be the best Virgin Mary that this Goddess can be.

Goddess Thankful

In this Goddess' life, there's so much to be thankful for.

Today, we are all reminded to count the blessings, no matter how small.  For sometimes, it is the small blessings that truly make a difference.

I am thankful for the boyfriend (who's forehead kisses always make me feel better).
I am thankful for the kitties (who keep me on my toes, wake me in the morning, and allow me to love them).
I am thankful for my friends (near and far, who remind me every day even if we don't speak that day about where I've come from and where I'm going).
I am thankful for our tiny, filled-with-crap, 1-fuse-box, stompy-neighbors apartment (complete with comfy bed and "princess" chair).
I am thankful for my feet (which have helped me express myself through dance, taken me to distant lands, and sometimes remind me to take care of myself).
I am thankful for my voice (which reflects my moods, energy levels, and love of cheesy music).
I am thankful for my family (which continues to grow and evolve, reminding me that I will one day be responsible for my own).

I am thankful for my business (which has allowed me spread the message of better and healthy sex).
I am thankful for the opportunities Athena's has offered us (which really provide constant rays of sunshine and hope every day..even on the hardest of days).
I am thankful for my Athena's families (which provide me with unending support and laughter).
I am thankful for being a Goddess (which is truly an enchanted life indeed).

Belly Basics from a Baby Belly

On Friday, October 15th, I was invited to do an Athena's Party at Girl Power Fitness in Hyde Park, MA.  The Hostess and owner of Girl Power Fitness is a friend of one of my close friends who teaches Zumba, and soon got word that I am also a belly dancer.  Since the night was also going to feature a strip tease lesson, she asked if I would be able to teach a short belly dance lesson.

Truth be told, I don't think I'm necessarily qualified for the job.  Though I've been studying for about 8 years, I've only taken my commitment further in the past 3 years.  I don't necessarily plan on becoming as professional as some of my friends who are dancing at restaurants, but I absolutely love this dance.

Luckily, I had seen a fellow dancer, Ma'isah, the night before and told her about my upcoming lesson.  At that point, I had no idea what my lesson plan was, and I was too nervous to really think about it.  I am extremely lucky that she had a clearer head than I did, and she helped me break it down and feel more prepared.

I knew I had to start with the basic history and background of belly dance, starting with the term raqs sharqi.  I explained to the room full of women that the dance was more about dancing for other women and less about dancing for a man.  I stressed the importance of why it should be more about enjoying the dance, rather than just performing.

I knew I had to go quickly through various moves, but that I wanted to touch on a lot of the basics.  After my brief history lesson, I talked about the importance of posture and demonstrated the "right" and "wrong" ways to stand.

In My Goddess and Belly Dance wear

I started with hip and rib circles, moving slowly then a bit quicker.  I made sure to give the room ample time to practice, while also being aware of the time.  I touched on horizontal figure 8's and vertical figure 8's.

Then I moved on to undulations, starting with the hip then the ribcage.  In the theme of undulations, I moved on to snake arms and noted how difficult it was for many in the room to grasp.  I tried various ways of explaining it, though I knew that the time allotted would not be enough for everyone to really hone it in.

Then we moved onto the faster movements, namely shoulder and hip accents and shimmies.  The shoulder accents gave way to shoulder shimmies, and the ladies really seemed to enjoy that.  I then moved to hip hits going up and hip hits going down, focusing on one side at a time.  I also introduced them to the Egyptian Hip Hit and the Drop Release movements.

I had index cards with notes, just like when I had my very first party as a Goddess :)

Finally, we moved on to the shimmies.  I started with the basic knee shimmy, then the hip shimmy, and finally the 3/4 shimmy.  After going through the basic moves, I put on Betwanes Beek and I led them through the various movements I taught them throughout the song.

Afterward, I thought of all the various things I didn't get to tell them.  I touched on layering, but I didn't really show them an example of it.  I talked a bit about placing your arms in a way that frames your body, but I forgot to end the final song with a pose.  I got so nervous, that I didn't even suggest that I could dance a bit for them while we were waiting for the next portion of the evening.  I didn't get to talk about level changes, smiling and facial expressions, or using the movements to move across the room.  I know it's silly, considering that I really only had enough time to go through the basics.  But I just like being thorough.

Nonetheless, the women seemed thoroughly excited and happy with my quickie lesson.  They said that they were surprised at how hard some of the movements were and how much they were sweating during the lesson.

I had created a list of teachers in the area to hand out to the girls, encouraging them to seek out lessons with some of the top performers and teachers in the area.  It felt encouraging to hear that some of them enjoyed my lesson and would have also enjoyed continuing lessons with me.

Again, while I don't think I'm necessarily qualified to teach beyond a beginner level, experiencing being a teacher was incredibly insightful.  If anything, it helps me to be a better student.

Visiting the Homelands

In July, a friend of mine and I went to Greece to celebrate being single at 28 years old.

In honor of the company namesake, I made it a point to wear my Goddess tank with pride.

Athena's Goddess

I couldn't even imagine how the Parthenon was constructed.  I'm sure there's a Discovery Channel special dedicated to how it was done.  But standing in the greatness that was the marble slabs, even amidst the reconstruction work, felt awe-inspiring.

Considering that Athena was the Goddess of Wisdom, I felt so proud to be part of a company that focuses on spreading knowledge about yourself, your body, and what works in relationships.

Greece was awesome! If you would like to read all about it, visit my personal blog.

"My name is Cecilia, and I'll be your Goddess this evening."

Names have power.

Naming things has power - for better or for worse.

Names can be changed in order to remove or increase power.

Names are identity.

I personally love my name, in all its Filipino-ness, individuality, Simon & Garfunkel ode-inspired, and significance.

I've often thought about my name and how it relates to my persona.  As I'm living a daytime life and a nighttime life, I know I can separate the two as not everyone knows about my belly dancing or my "night job."  But the one thing I feel that I can't separate is my name.

In belly dance, it seems that most dancers have a stage name.  Shira provides a great article about the process of deciding and finding a name.  Though I know it's not a necessity, there is a lure in creating a whole new personality just by changing my name.  The idea of being able to throw away all your cares and dance the night away is quite attractive.

Yet, I find it hard to give myself a name without giving the rest of me the cold shoulder.

So, I have considered a couple of names, most of which obviously has some significance to mermaids.  Serena, the Spanish and Filipino word for "mermaid."  Jullanar or Dyullanar, a mermaid that shows up in Thousand and One Nights, with the second version in the Filipino way of spelling it.  Dyesebel, the name of a Filipino mermaid, popularized by written stories and film.

Dyesebel as a tv show in the Philippines...must...watch.....

But...I also really like my own name.  I don't know if I feel that I'm being dishonest about who I am if I take on another personality?  Maybe it's that I feel like it would become just another thing for me to carry?  Maybe I feel that if I'm going to learn as much as I can about Middle Eastern dance, that I need to go into it fully by giving myself fully, and that includes my name?

*shrug*

I don't know.  But for now, as I'm not a professional dancer, I'm satisfied using my own name.

In my Athena's business, one that would require me to separate my night life with my day life, I proudly use my own name.  Again, I feel like I can't create a whole different persona to match this other part of my life.  It's almost exhausting just thinking about having to create a different persona.

Though, clearly, I would try to be careful about whom and what I talk about my night job, I still feel like who I am as a Goddess vs. who I am as a social worker needs to be compatible in order for me to even exist.  With all my quirks, all my sillyness, and all my passion for helping you find your inner Goddess, what you see is what you get.

More recently, a new acquaintance told me that she was joining Passion Parties.  Now, I don't know much about that company other than that they're based in San Francisco.  At first, I was pretty bummed that I didn't have the opportunity to recruit this person.  But, then I was really excited that someone was joining the team of women (in all the different companies) that try to bring others passions out.

Personally, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Athena's.  The fact that this business fell into my lap was clearly fate.  Starting with even the name of the company, highlighting the Greek Goddess of Wisdom as opposed to the Goddess of Love, I knew that I would be very comfortable.  The geek in me that loves Greek myths absolutely perked up. 

Then, there's the mission of the organization:

Our Mission: To empower women down the path of sexual education in the safe, comfortable environment of their own homes by offering only the highest quality products presented by a trained Athena's Goddess.

Right up my alley.  Ever since I became sexually active, I've strongly believed that one should be educated about sex before engaging in it.  In my 3 years of being a Goddess, the hardest part for me has been meeting girls who have engaged in sex not fully knowing their bodies or what pleases them.  I'm not asking for folks to take an anatomy class or to study up on sex before getting into it.  But even just to get to know your own body...it's something.

Goddess

I take the role of Goddess quite seriously.  I wear my Goddess pin proudly.  I did not hesitate tacking that onto my name and persona.  While it's still an addition to my name, it doesn't feel like a further extension of who I am, or another thing to carry.

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I've been juggling all my roles.  I think that holding onto my name as an integral part of all the things I engage in will help keep me grounded and rooted.  As I mentioned in the beginning, names have power...I think I'd like to keep both.

Saturn's Return

Entering my late mid-twenties (disguised as my early late-twenties), my friend Joya clued me into "Saturn's Return." According to this astrological theory, this is the time when lots of changes occur - goals are attained, milestones are reached. Though it's not supposed to be about painful upheaval, I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't some of that thrown into the mix for the fun of it all.

Since April 23rd of 2009, I must say there have been a lot of things going on in this 27 year old's life. From the more personal part, I've had to make some decisions about how far I'm willing to stretch myself for other people. But, that's not necessarily something I'm ready to get into in the blogosphere (god, what a word I never thought I'd use...).

With my night job, I felt like there needed to be a change. I love the intimacy (pun intended!) of the house parties. But I knew I needed to take it to another level. So, I started with my personal contacts (especially Perry - the personification of a Rolodex), and received a couple of great leads! As of today, I will be doing a gig on June 14th at the Savant Project in Roxbury. I am super excited to get this kind of exposure for my business! The owner of the Savant Project seems like a great guy, and he seems to be doing quite well in that area. I also have one other person to get into contact with. Hopefully, before this week is over, I will have made contact and will have another meeting with a bartender about doing a bar promotion.

got toys? I do.

Then, there's belly dancing. It's an expensive hobby! But I love it. I've been signing onto different networks, learning about workshops in the area, and signing up to take classes with different teachers. I loveAmira Jamal, but I have a tendency to become super faithful to my teachers. While I think being faithful is a good thing, it can also limit a persons education. I was bummed that she wasn't going to do a summer session, but it was a clear sign that I needed to get out of that comfort zone. So, I've signed up as a member of the New England Belly Dance Association, signed up to take an upcoming workshop, and am planning to check out Najmat's classes at the Green Street Studios. Once I can afford it, there's a whole slew of workshops that I'm wanting to take before October.

(Picture taken by Nina Lytton)

Now, all of this takes a lot of money. Money that my day job doesn't necessarily help me out with. But, it feels great to have made all this headway with these 3 parts of my life.
I want to be wary about screaming, "Go ahead, Saturn!! Bring it on!!!"

But, for now, it doesn't feel too bad at all.